Gifted Leaders

Three Universal Human Needs – The 3 E’s

By exceptionality I mean that every human being is an exception to the rule - no one has ever been born quite like you and no one in the future will ever again be quite like you. We all have a basic human desire for essentiality, we want to be recognized as essential to any human group we belong to. Finally, I think all human beings in every group they are a part of feel some sense of equality, especially equality of voice. We all have a desire to share without censorship, our hopes and visions of the true, the good and the possible. - David Cooperrider

Here’s a bit more on the 3 E’s from the Thin Book Publishing web site:

Several management theorists have identified three human universal needs. We share David Cooperrider's view. He believes that each person has the need to:

1. Have a voice and be heard;
2. Be viewed as essential to a group; and
3. Be seen as unique and exceptional.

We've found when people in organizations become frustrated or cynical, it is always because the organization is not fully respectful of the three universal human needs. In our experience, most organizations will tell you they practice these principles, but in reality they do not. They are deceptively simple. You can make a difference by monitoring who you listen to and who you ignore and asking yourself why. What assumptions have you made about people or their positions that cause you to listen or tune out?

One person can begin to change the culture of his or her organization because honoring the three human universals begins with you. You can make a difference in creating a more constructive culture at your organization by:

• Being curious about how every other person sees the world;
  
• Respecting each person's perspective of the world as unique and essential to the group's success; and
  
• Making sure every person has a chance to speak and be heard.

Ultimately, if you ensure all three needs are met, you will be successful as a leader. If your organization works at meeting all three needs, your organization will be more successful.

Who’s Got Your Back? - Part II

“The more I work on my own life and help others on the path toward success the more I see the importance of loving relationships.” - Dan Miller

Here are several other quotes from Dan Miller's e-Newsletter on the importance of supportive relationships:

“If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone. A man should keep his friendships in constant repair.” - Samuel Johnson

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” - Henri Nouwen

“Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” - Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

What are you doing to keep your friendships/relationships “in constant repair?”

Who’s Got Your Back? - Part I

“Success cannot be achieved in isolation. It is the result of combined efforts – yours and that of many others around you. Look for ways to strengthen your relationships and your success will soar.” - Dan Miller

Dan Miller shared the following in his 48 days e-Newsletter on July 28 ...

Last Thursday my daughter and I drove down to Atlanta to attend author Keith Ferrazzi's presentation on his new book, Who's Got Your Back? 

Keith talked about the critical importance of having 3 deep personal relationships and said that if you have these 3 trusting relationships you are set up to experience a disproportionate level of success. In the research for the book he found that roughly 50% of Americans could not identify one person who has their back.

If you’re struggling, perhaps the next step in releasing your success is not another degree, a guaranteed salary, a bank loan, a secure patent or a winning lottery ticket – but rather a friend you can confide in.

Who's got your back?

Susan Scott Talks Fierce Leadership

“If you want to be a great leader, you must gain the capacity to connect with others at a deep level - or lower your aim.” - Susan Scott

In a video promoting her new book, Fierce Leadership, author Susan Scott contrasts the old adage that a leader should ensure growth at all costs with a growing recognition that human connectivity is the primary “means” to drive that growth. Watch the video on the Fierce Leadership web site ...

What's your capacity for connectivity?

Tips for Hiring Leaders

“Good leaders need to be able to connect to all of those around them. This is especially true because we have a very team-oriented culture. When I'm hiring leaders, I pay a lot of attention to what their peers and what people who report to them say about them. We want people who relate well with their peers and cooperate in an exchange of information rather than being overly competitive.” - John Mackey, CEO Whole Foods

In a feature last month on Inc.com, John Mackey of Whole Foods Markets shared his answer to the question, “What traits should I look for when hiring for a leadership position?”  I really think his response should apply to hiring anyone for any position.

In addition to looking for classic character virtues, Mackey also selects for people with a high degree of emotional intelligence. He says, “For leadership positions, emotional intelligence is more important than cognitive intelligence. People with emotional intelligence usually have lots of cognitive intelligence, but that’s not always true the other way around.”

What are you doing to select for and/or develop emotional intelligence in your leaders?  What are you doing to develop your own emotional intelligence?

Leading Your Team Part IV: Choose Commitment Over Compliance

"Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work." - Vince Lombardi

Transformation, growth and, ultimately, business success occurs through choice, not mandate. Effective leaders help people understand how their contributions fit into the broader vision and invite the team to work toward the greater good for each other and the organization. When people have an opportunity to "self-enroll" they exercise their freedom of choice which leads to a deeper level of ownership and commitment.

So Why Bother?

While paternalistic leadership only has room for one leader, collaborative community builders allow the leader in everyone to be brought forward. In today's challenging business climate we need to bring out the best in everyone to insure that we not only survive, but thrive.

So what's your choice? Frustrated parent or collaborative community builder? The former is likely to feel familiar but unfulfilling. The latter will require personal growth, hard work and perseverance - and allow you to leave a lasting legacy as a transformational leader.

Learn to step out of the role of benevolent parent, download our free e-Book: Leading Your Team: Making the Switch from Frustrated Parent to Collaborative Community Builder.

Leading Your Team Part III: Choose Engagement Over Manipulation

"Leaders should be the keepers of the what, not the masters of the how." - Bob Pittman

A leader is like a gardener.  The gardener doesn't have the power to force the plant to grow. Instead, he/she cultivates an optimal environment where the plant has the best opportunity to grow.

People best create that which they own, and co-creation is the bedrock of accountability. To choose engagement over manipulation is to take the other person seriously, to suspend judgment, and to see them as a colleague and partner.

Choosing engagement means:

• Having faith in the intelligence and goodwill of each person to contribute, instead of seeking techniques designed to shape their behavior and emotional responses.
• Using policies and procedures to encourage and inspire excellence and quality versus as a means to insure compliance and alignment.
• Involving everyone on the team in the process of creating a vision for change instead of relying on a top-down approach and authority to make things happen.

Engagement offers the potential for tapping into a wellspring of underutilized human capacity. In an empowered organization, employees bring their best ideas and initiatives to the workplace with a sense of excitement, ownership, and pride. In addition, they act with responsibility and put the best interests of the organization first.

Learn to step out of the role of benevolent parent, download our free e-Book: Leading Your Team: Making the Switch from Frustrated Parent to Collaborative Community Builder.

Leading Your Team Part II: Examine Your Underlying Beliefs about Leadership

"Your character becomes your destiny. Leadership behavior begins in your mind, gets expressed in words, and then gets translated into action. Over time, those actions become who you are." - James Kouzes, leadership consultant and author

Our beliefs have a great influence over the ways in which we interact with people. Considering that the vast majority of our experience in organizations has occurred within the context of a paternalistic approach to leading, it's easy to see how even well-intentioned people can readily adopt the role of "parent" and lead from that mindset. And, quite frankly, the paternal approach is appealing and often perpetuated for a number of reasons:

• Our egos become invested in the roles we play and in the trappings of our authority.
• It is concrete and easy to implement (as long as people do what you tell them).
• We believe that we have paid our dues and others should do the same.
• It is based on the premise that "someone else" needs to change (not the leader).
• We fear change, letting go of control, and the possibility of failure.

Besides the fact that "we've always done it this way," which is frequently an obstacle in the way of change, we are also prone to some basic misconceptions about "leadership".  The dominant belief is that the task of leadership is to set a vision, enroll others in it and hold people accountable through measurement and rewards. We try to create high performance through the centralization of power and control.

Becoming a collaborative community builder requires a different set of beliefs about people and about the task of leadership:

• Everyone wants to be exceptional.
• Employees support the changes and commitments they create.
• Leaders allow people to act on their own initiative and make important decisions.
• Adults prefer to be "led" rather than "managed".
• Leadership is about partnering, not parenting.

Learn to step out of the role of benevolent parent, download our free e-Book: Leading Your Team: Making the Switch from Frustrated Parent to Collaborative Community Builder.

Leading Your Team Part I: Look at the Questions You’re Asking

"If you are asking questions like 'How do I get people to ...?' or 'How do I get people onboard with my ideas, vision or ...?', you’re asking the wrong questions!" - Peter Block

Stepping out of the role of benevolent parent and moving toward becoming a collaborative community builder requires a totally new way of thinking about organizations and leadership. Making the change is definitely necessary if you want to reach your full potential both individually and collectively.

Question like "How do I get people to ...?" or "How do I get people onboard with my ideas, vision or ...?" are the wrong questions!

These are the questions of a parent regarding non-compliant children. And this approach has the unintended side-effect of creating resentment and a feeling of being manipulated, with related symptoms of whining and complaining. "Put this in boldface," Block says, "They are not your children. Once you realize that, real engagement is possible."

Learn to step out of the role of benevolent parent, download our free e-Book: Leading Your Team: Making the Switch from Frustrated Parent to Collaborative Community Builder.

The Perils of Paternalism

"We are generally the better persuaded by the reasons we discover ourselves than by those given to us by others." - Blaise Pascal

Many teams and businesses today are attracted to the romantic notion of being a "big happy family." The difficulty with this is that somebody gets stuck being the parent. And it’s the parent who often finds themselves trying to keep everyone happy.

The Perils of Paternalism

The paternalistic view of leadership is one in which the leader plays the role of a benevolent ruler who makes all important decisions, controls all important information, does all the important thinking, and basically directs all the important activities of the organization as he (or she) sees fit. Workers are there to do the work as directed and to seek information or solutions to problems from the leader.

According to research by Jim Laub, Ed.D., most organizations operate with a paternalistic view of leadership  and that, more than any other reason, hinders them from becoming truly collaborative and effective. This kind of benevolent rule has the effect of producing a child-like response in employees who readily accept that their leaders know more, are wiser, and should be followed. This abdication of their own responsibility to lead has far-reaching effects. When employees are encouraged to take on the role of children, the result is a transactional form of leadership that operates more on compliance rather than true individual motivation.

Making the Switch

A healthy organization is one in which people talk and act as partners for the good of each person and the organization as a whole. When people at all levels trust and respect one another and encourage active participation and leadership, the organization as a whole prospers.

Are you tired of feeling like a counselor, mediating disputes about workplace music volume and who took Nicole’s lunch?  Leaders who take on the role of parent may find themselves feeling frustrated, and asking questions like, "Why does it seem like people need constant guidance in playing well with others?" and "Why won’t they take any responsibility?"

Learn to step out of the role of benevolent parent, download our free e-Book: Leading Your Team: Making the Switch from Frustrated Parent to Collaborative Community Builder.